Relationships, especially professional ones, have a life cycle. They ignite, grow, peak, and then decline. Any number of reasons can contribute to a relationship’s decline: a project’s conclusion, a career transition or promotion, or maybe a geographic relocation.

But a relationship’s decline doesn’t mean it’s over; it simply means that the relationship’s context (the glue that held it together in its current form) has eroded. If you still want to leverage the relationship, use these five surefire strategies to rekindle it.

1. Information of value

Thanks to today’s wired world, you can easily keep track of others even if you’ve lost direct contact. Forwarding a relevant article with the message €œsaw this and thought of you€ will always resonate positively. And it often generates a response. This small action can have huge leverage potential in starting a conversation.

“Hey Sue. Saw this article and thought of you. Love to have a quick chat and catch up on your success.”

2. Professional connection

A change in a colleague’s professional status or position often doesn’t mean they disappear; it’s just an indication that they’ve transitioned to a different role. Staying active in your business community and attending networking events is an ideal strategy to create opportunities to re-connect with and leverage contacts who have new responsibilities.

“Hi Bill. Great seeing you. I bet your role is keeping you busy. How about a coffee or quick lunch? I’d love to hear about your new responsibilities and see how I might be helpful.”

3. Event invitation

One of the most effective strategies to renew a lapsed relationship is to invite a contact to an event. The invitation itself acts as a leverage point, but make this strategy even more impactful by ensuring the event is of interest to the person you invite. In addition, since you’re hosting your invited guest you can dictate the quality of the conversation over the course of the event.

“Hi Betty. I wanted to let you know I have an extra ticket for the Business Achievement Awards. I’d love to invite you as my guest. I think it’s an ideal opportunity for you to connect with some great professionals.”

4. Personal issue

Business relationships span much more than professional areas. They often encompass personal areas that are as (if not more) important. It can easy and enjoyable to use a personal area to re-connect and re-ignite a relationship. Often, it’s all that is required.

“Hi Ron. I wanted to let you know we skied at Whistler last week and stopped in at the Red Crescent Inn for dinner. I still remember our lunch there and how great the food was. Hope all is well at your end. I’d love to have a quick chat and catch up.”

5. Serendipitous meeting

Sometimes the universe does the work for you. All you need to do is be aware of the opportunity and leverage it into a relationship-building moment. Take control and launch the relationship by sending a short follow up note with a call to action.

“Hi Luigi. What a surprise bumping into you as I left the restaurant today! I hope your soccer team won. I was thinking it has been a while since we chatted. You up for a quick coffee? I’d love to hear about your success.”


Michael Hughes is known as North America’s Networking Guru. Find out more about his programs and services at”

Linkedin represents an enormous opportunity when used effectively. Unfortunately, most professionals have no idea how to leverage this invaluable resource for optimal results. Here are my most powerful and productive strategies and tactics.

1. Focus on the highest-value connections.

For the longest time, I felt overwhelmed and intimidated every time I opened my Linkedin newsfeed. My eyes would wander endlessly and I’d wind up confused and confounded about what to do and where to go.

To help me focus I created a one-page list of the primary markets I wanted to connect with and now use this list to drive my efforts every time I visit Linkedin. This list represents the top companies I want to connect with and a profile of the typical decision maker for my services. It acts as a compass that points me in the right direction.

P.S.: It only takes five minutes to create.

2. Put your avatar on steroids.

Every time I receive a request-to-connect, the first thing I do is look at the person’s profile. It takes no more than five seconds to do, but is the basis for not only whether I will accept or reject their request, but also how I feel about them as a person. Don’t you do the same?

Your Linkedin profile is your online avatar. It shapes the perception of your professionalism and your value. Use the inverted writing style to help visitors zero in on who you do business with and what your value is to them. They should be able to do this without scrolling down.

P.S.: Most won’t.

3. Reach out.

In the past, when I received a request-to-connect, I’d usually accept if the requestor’s profile had any semblance of professionalism. What happened next was€¦absolutely nothing. Is that what you do?

I remember thinking €œThere has to be a reason why this person reached out to me.€ So I decided to start asking. After agreeing to connect, I now send a brief message asking why the person invited me to connect. I’ve been amazed at the responses.

P.S.: I dare you to try it.

4. Reach in.

I use to think of Linkedin as a numbers game. I was singularly focused to building new Linkedin connections. After all, isn’t a key point of Linkedin creating new connections in specific markets and with new professionals?

Don’t be afraid to leverage your existing connections. Many of your connections end up being past contacts and clients. It’s inevitable we lose touch with some of them, but Linkedin lets you stay aware of their journey and progress. In fact, it can act as the perfect vehicle to re-connect.

P.S.: Who should you reach in to today?

5. Think strategy not sales.

The majority of Linkedin users are business and sales professionals. They understand and appreciate the culture of networking. Yet, when interacting online, many lose their sense of perspective and propriety, misconstruing a connection as a buying signal.

Whether online or face-to-face, a connection is not equal to a relationship. Online connections are simply the first step in building a relationship. Relationships take time, need to be nurtured and require investment.

P.S.: How long is your sales cycle?

6. Start conversations.

Too often, we want to jump right into sales mode after a brief introductory exchange with a new Linked connection. I know I used to. Then I realized that we buy people first, ideas next and things last. Now I focus on building a relationship first.

Online, there is lack of human dynamic. I call it relationship inertia. To move a relationship forward online, start by using Linked in for small information exchanges that get the relationship pendulum swinging back and forth. It doesn’t take long for momentum to build.

P.S.: Isn’t that the way it works?

7. Let’s talk.

Online interactions can be cold, overly structured and one-sided. The lack of human dynamic tends to focus on a one-way communication style that can be misinterpreted. After all, you can’t see the other person so your words will always be filtered through the other person’s perspective.

One of the secrets to building powerful and productive relationships is the ability to bridge from the online environment to a live conversation, which exponentially drives the relationship process. When two humans connect and communicate, all is possible.

P.S.: Isn’t it about people?

Michael Hughes is known as North America’s Networking Guru. To get more info about his services or to have him speak at your next meeting or conference, visit his web site at”

Have you thought about what is takes to be the best? Being the ‘best’ is a relative term and can apply to any company irrespective of its industry, scope or size. Here are some characteristics that (in my mind) define being the best. These are based on my recent experiences in working with, or interacting with, the ‘best’.

Presentation. In every experience with these ‘best’ companies, I was overwhelmed by the visual impact. From exterior views to interior decor to intimate detail, the presentation was exquisite and extraordinary. This sense of visual impact was consistent throughout my entire experience in each case when involved with a ‘best’ company. The resulting emotions I remember most vividly were feelings of security and well-being. In a word, I felt comfortable.

What do you do in the areas of personal and professional presentation to demonstrate that your colleagues, clients and contacts are dealing with the best?

Quality. Plasma screen television instead of the standard model. Snacks shaped like golf tees. Fresh orange juice delivered to the room each morning. A high-quality, monogrammed decal produced and delivered within minutes. A choice of the finest wines. Fairways groomed to perfection. A patio bar that can be accessed from both inside and outside the house (this was my favorite). Your choice of newspaper delivered to your room. Each ‘best’ company delivered a quality experience that left me with an unbelievable, lasting effect.

What do you do to produce a quality experience for colleagues, clients and contacts as they interact with you and your company

Value. As a business concept, value is both a pre-requisite for, and a passport to, increased fees and additional profits. As consumers, we seek value. In fact, we are prepared to pay more once we have established value. Each ‘best’ company contact delivered value that not only justified price, it made it (to a certain extent) irrelevant. Communicating value was an integral part of the experience as we were informed about the various items, from explaining how to use the plasma TV to the purpose of a runner as part of our golf foursome to spot our drives and rake the sand traps. And in every case, these ‘best’ companies confirmed that we realized the value we received. What a concept!!

What do you do to deliver value to colleagues, clients and contacts, and how do you confirm they understand and appreciate what they have received?

Impact. I am convinced that a key to attaining and maintaining ‘best’ company status is to continuously strive to deliver high impact in the three areas identified above. My recollection of every best company experience includes the impact of the presentation, the quality and the value. Whether the impact was visual, visceral or value-based, it had an impact that will stay with me for a long time. P.S.: I now measure other experiences on a scale that is based on the impact these supplied.

What are your ding in your everyday activities that will deliver a high-impact experience for colleagues, clients and contacts?

Want to discuss how you or your company can “be the best”. Contact me at”

Professional relationships are the foundation of future success. Are you clear on the companies, contacts and criteria required to achieve this by strategically and proactively seeking out, and investing in, relationships with the right people, in the right organizations, for the right reasons?

The most dangerous time in a relationship is when you take it for granted. This causes you to overstep your bounds, overstay your welcome or abuse your trust. Continuously check your ego and your emotions, asking yourself “whose motives will this action best serve?”

From the desk of Michael J. Hughes, North America’s Networking Guru. It’s time to assess where we’re going for 2012. Here’s my take on the top networking-related trends for the coming year.

  1. Return of F2F. The explosion of interest and involvement in social networks has, in many cases, only served to confuse the marketplace about products or services. There is a resurgence of face-to-face contact as a powerful, productive business strategy. In fact, face-to-face networking is now considered a “differentiator” that uses the human dynamic to positively impact context and credibility.

    STRATEGY: for more success in 2012, implement a bi-weekly networking strategy that allows you to connect directly with your highest-value clients and prospects.

  2. Rise of the machine. Having stated the above, there is to question that social networks have become an integral, necessary component of a personal marketing strategy. You cannot afford not to be visible and active online. However,  as social networks have matured, it has become obvious that their true benefit is not as an either-or networking option, but as a compliment and contributor to accelerating client and professional relationships.

    STRATEGY: In 2012, make it a priority to get online, get educated and get active.  Networking is now a holistic strategy that incorporates both online and offline activities as part of the relationship-building process.

  3. Confirming networking ROI. Today’s competitive marketplace is forcing professionals to justify every investment. Joining a group or attending events without a proper plan and solid evidence of results is no longer acceptable. The opportunity cost in both time and resources is just too high. The good news is that networking is still your highest-return leverage strategy when used effectively.

    STRATEGY: In 2012, invest more time and effort planning and preparing for networking success. Develop clear objectives and measure your progress on a monthly, even weekly basis.

  4. Personalized value. The old adage of unique value as a benefit area is dead, as is the over-used analogy of being better by supplying added value. The new competitive difference lies in creating a value premise (or package) customized to each client’s situation and/or needs. The shift from delivering a value statement to discovering the value gap, and having prospects see you as the bridge, has now become your most important networking tactic.

    STRATEGY: In 2012, commit to changing your networking paradigm from a self-focused agenda and make it “all about them.” I consider this trend and corresponding strategy a critical success factor in the coming year.

  5. The relationship factor. Professionals, entrepreneurs and corporate managers agree that relationships are the basis for success in business and in life. Creating and nurturing relationships in today’s matrix-oriented, the technology-driven world is now a required skill. Relationship-management is a social process that can be learned and managed. Networking, with its capacity to ignite and accelerate relationships, is the perfect resource for our time.

    STRATEGY: In 2012, invest in building your networking skills. Your survival and future success depend on it.

  6. Collaboration nation. The idea of being a unique entity is fast fading into the sunset. Consumers are now in the driver’s seat, with more options and opportunities than ever before. The business world is now a buyer’s market. How can you offset this shift in positioning and power? Networking creates connections and builds relationships. Entrepreneurs and business professionals are more open than ever to collaborate with trusted partners for mutual gain.

    STRATEGY: In 2012, instead of seeing competitors at networking events or in the marketplace, explore how you both can benefit from working together.

  7. Adapt, expand, innovate. We are in an age that defines constant change as “the new normal.” Geographic boundaries have disappeared, generational disparities complicate our lives and the lines between work and home seem to be blurring. Rather than lamenting this brave new world, why not use 2012 to embrace it?

    STRATEGY: Adapt your networking behaviour and tactics for this new environment, expand your networking reach by taking on new roles or adopting new resources, and commit to networking innovation.

BONUS: Here’s one final item on networking-related trends. Recent surveys confirm that, even with our expanded connectivity and the explosion of online activity, many people are feeling an increase in their sense of loneliness. Fight the urge to sit in front of your computer, perceiving that sending out requests-to-connect is networking. The real connections are waiting for you at the next networking event.

What’s your take on these trends? I’d love to hear your comments. Email me at”

From the desk of Michael J. Hughes, North America’s Networking Guru. Every time I sit down with a professional and discuss her/his success, we invariably zero in on a few key relationships that have been instrumental, even invaluable, during the journey. Initially, these are referred to as accidental or attributed to luck.

Further discussion, however, identifies a number of fundamental factors that created, caused or contributed to the outcome. A few years ago, as part of my networking research, I stumbled upon a body of knowledge surrounding the role networks play in our universe and our lives.

Networks are all around us and are governed by universal laws. Becoming more aware of these “secret” network laws and harnessing their incredible potential can dramatically accelerate your ability to succeed in business and in life. Listed below are the Seven Natural Laws of Networks and a practical strategy for each.

I- Law of Consistency. Networks are scientific entities that have specific and predictable properties. Strategy: Become more aware of the power and potential of your networks (the “real” network of contact, colleague and client relationships that are all around you). They are your most powerful and productive asset.

II- Law of Interconnectivity. Every link in a network is automatically connected, directly or indirectly, to all other links by virtue of the network itself. Strategy: Your network is waiting to serve you. Be crystal clear about what it is you want and need, then communicate it consistently to your network.

III- Law of Random Growth. Networks are in a continuous state of random growth. Strategy: your network is growing every day. In the world of networks, there are no accidents. Are you seeing each new contact as the launch pad for a relationship that will become your path to future success?

IV- Law of Strength in Weak Ties. New network connections can often have more power to impact results than existing ones. Strategy: make it a point to seek and out and nurture new contacts. These people only see you in the context of your current situation (instead of all the history that may be hindering a new role or mandate)

V- Law of Preferred Attachment. Some network connections, because of their positioning, maturity or influence, have far greater impact within a network. Strategy: Not all relationships are created equal. Identify the highest-value connections in your network, then prioritize your time and effort on these.

VI- Law of Context. The context of a network connection generally dictates its strength and positioning. Strategy: the foundational success factor of every important relationship is trust. Context (sense of familiarity, comfort and security with another person) is the easiest and most effective way to build trust.

VII- Law of Natural growth. Relationship-related networks follow the natural evolution process: slow start, rapid growth and steady decline (unless renewed). Strategy: Relationships take time, require investment and need to be nurtured. You must take full responsibility for growing the relationships that enter your life as networking contacts.

Would you like to know more about the Natural Laws of Networks? I have created a 10-page Executive Overview on this topic that has detailed information and specific resources to leverage each. Simply email me at to receive your complimentary copy.

From the desk of Michael J. Hughes, Canada’s Networking Guru. A long time acquaintance contacted me, asking if I could deliver a presentation on change management. It was beyond me that he would request I speak on this topic, given my on-going investment in promoting myself as a networking expert. The annoying part for me was that we’ve been colleagues for over 25 years. We worked in similar capacities at a previous employer. We’ve had conversations about our respective careers. And still, he wasn’t clear.

I did want to be helpful so, before replying, I contacted a colleague, asking if she knew anyone who might have expertise about this subject. She quickly responded that this topic was, in fact, her area of specialty. I had no idea. We were close colleagues and I thought I had a good grasp on her area of expertise. What a revelation!!!

Too often, we take for granted that those closest to us know what we do and why they should hire or refer us. We’re mystified when they don’t. When was the last time you gave those closest to you the opportunity to gain (or re-gain) more insight and information about your value?

Here are three proven, practical strategies that can accomplish this.

Share success stories: prepare “good news” updates to share with colleagues and clients, especially in response to the question “What’s new?” This information relays your success, speaks to a specific market sector and reminds these important contacts of your core value.

Supply free samples: everyone likes a free sample. Make sure you include your highest-value relationships when you think of this strategy. Offer to send them white papers, new product samples or include them in your information updates. It will make them feel special and act as a reminder of the value areas you represent.

Invite them to participate in your offerings. There is no more powerful strategy to get others to act on your behalf than to allow them to experience the value you represent. Invite them to a seminar, allow them to attend an event you’re hosting or supply them with a ticket to that special offering. This is the single most effective strategy I have used to get others to promote and/or hire me.

From the desk of Michael J. Hughes, Canada’s Networking Guru.

The approach of Valentine’s Day always revives the interest in, and the impact of, my good friend Cupid. For those of you who may unbelievably still be blissfully unaware, Cupid is a mythological winged cherub who acts as a catalyst for romance. His escapades are well-documented. He surprises unsuspecting couples, stabbing them with his invisible, love-laced arrows. Once Cupid has awakened this emotion, the two parties involved see one another in a completely different light. Their mutual attraction is almost overwhelming. Is this a myth that we should simply discard, or is it fact? Let’s take a look at how life operates.

You attend a networking event. A conversation partner, whom you’ve been more or less putting in time with until someone better comes along, mentions, almost off-handedly, that he has a strong connection with a prospect you really want to meet. Your attention snaps back to this person and you immediately see him in a different light; it’s almost as if you’ve been prodded in a Cupid-esc fashion to see the value in the other person.

You are about to leave your association’s monthly meeting when a colleague you barely know approaches with another person in tow. She introduces her contact, adding some comments about an event that her conversation partner has mentioned. She is adamant about the urgency that the two of you connect, as she feels you have the perfect topic to present at their next conference. You look at her, shocked and overwhelmed by this unexpected act. Her Cupid-esc networking strategy has given you a sudden, incredible appreciation for her value, both as a professional and as a person.

I believe our friend Cupid is continually at work in our lives. This time of year brings to the surface the powerful effect the Cupid Factor has, when applied strategically. An unselfish act, done to support or strengthen a relationship, always leaves both people enriched. How can you put the Cupid Factor to work as you network in coming days and weeks?

  • Increase your awareness of the Cupid Factor, and trust in its effect. You will immediately see opportunities that you never thought existed.
  • Become a Cupid by consciously investing time and effort to discover whom others want and need to connect with as you network.
  • Create networking Cupid-esc connections with others. Simply setting this principle in motion produces unexpected and unanticipated results, for yourself as well as your Cupid Factor targets.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Well over 95% of professionals who attend my networking seminars and workshops admit that they have a problem remembering names. Most people realize that using someone’s name is beneficial, yet just about everyone admits this is something they don’t do well.

Remembering someone’s name is a fast way to establish rapport by making the other person feel important. Just about everyone knows this. So why is it that we can’t remember names?

The issue has more to do with timing and value than anything else. Remembering names is not easy, particularly during an introduction when focus is on eye contact, smiling, shaking hands, and stating names.

Here are some ideas to help you be more effective at remembering names.

Increase your awareness. Most people are not aware that the main reason they cannot remember names is due to the timing of the information. By increasing your awareness you will tend to listen better and remember more.

Recognize the impact of names. Remembering and using a person’s name is one of the simplest and most powerful ways of building trust. We love the sound of our own name and hearing it out loud makes us feel warm and comfortable.

Increase the value of a name. If the person were a long-lost cousin who was going to leave you a million dollars, would you remember his/her name? By focusing on the value of the other person, you will remember her/his it more easily.

Get into the habit of remembering names. Remembering a name is simply developing the ability to retain information at a more conscious level. Developing the discipline of consciously retaining this information really helps.

Focus only on the first name. Instead of trying to download and remember both a person’s first and last name, try to initially focus on just the other person’s first name. This simplifies the process and allows you to reap the benefits with half the pressure.

Repeat the name. Finding a way to repeat the person’s name within the first few seconds of hearing it is an excellent way of helping lock this information into your longer-term memory. Adding the name to your first question increases your chance of remembering.

Relate the name. Relate the other person’s name to someone in your personal database. As you think through your list of contacts or friends, you will identify better with it. Mentioning “I have a sister named Sue will help you greatly.

Associate the name. Sometimes it is easier to try and associate the other person’s name to some physical object or issue. Associating the name to their profession (Len the lawyer) or a physical attribute (Harry has a hairy beard) can be helpful.

Use tools. Look at the person’s name tag, ask for a business card then keep it in your hand to refer to while speaking or listening. In fact, asking for a business card at the first opportunity can easily eliminate the whole name issue.

Accept reality. Accept the fact that you will never be able to remember every name you hear. When you forget someone’s name, simply apologize, ask for their name again and use one of the techniques above to help retain the name.

Do you have additional tactics to remember names? I’d love to see them so we can add them to the list.